Gemma is such an observant, witty young lady, she is the first to laugh at a joke and make wise judgements on any situation she is faced with. But recently, due to her being so sick, her shine has faded a little.
In the car on the way to see her, I was challenging myself, thinking of all the ways I could make her laugh. I thought this would be the most important thing for her. I selected all of my best jokes, all the most hilarious anecdotes I have. But when I saw her I recognised that she didn’t need me to make her laugh, she needed me to let her know that I was listening and that I understood.
So often I feel that I evidence a Great Interaction by whether the person I am supporting is smiling or laughing. At that moment, Gemma couldn’t smile or laugh, she was in too much pain. I began to question how I could make a meaningful connection with her.
I tried to think about all the times I have felt unwell, how I found too much distraction difficult to engage with. With this in mind I made a decision to try one thing at a time with Gemma.
I had brought a flashy ball with me. Gemma and I had played with these a few months ago, so I thought she might like it. I touched her hand to get her attention, I then asked her Grandma quietly to turn the lights out. Once it was dark I gave Gemma a few moments to adjust and then I tapped the flashy ball on the bed. It lit the room up like a disco, Gemma gripped my hand tightly and started to smile. This only lasted for a moment, if it had gone on any longer then Gemma may have become unsettled or disorientated. She just needed short, meaningful interactions. We turned the lights back on and sat in silence for a while to let her rest. I kept holding her hand to let her know I was there. Sometimes she let go and reached towards my face. I met this by touching her hand with different objects and materials that I thought she may find interesting.
I didn’t have a sack of sensory toys with me, all I had was a really soft scarf, some shiny varnish on my nails and the flashy ball. Her hands where dry and cold, so I wrapped my scarf around them. I then ran her fingers over my nail varnish so she could feel how smooth it was, and I used the ball to massage her hands and arms.
I have recognised that interactions don’t have to be complicated, or fancy. Sometimes the most meaningful interactions are just simple, facilitating in order to connect with somebody. Gemma has been trapped in a world of white walls, bleeps and needles. The purpose of our interaction was not to make her laugh, as I had originally set out to do, but to support her experience of the world to be a little bigger and a little brighter.
Natalie Bianchi
Programme Coordinator