He totally baffles me with his clever theories and ideas. One of the things I really like and admire about Joseph is his passion. From the outside he comes across as a really excellent listener, such a sponge for learning new things. Which is why a few weeks ago, I became frustrated with myself because he couldn’t seem to understand me when I was trying to explain something to him.
I traced my conversation with him over and over again, trying to pull out examples of where I had gone wrong. Was the room too noisy? Was I speaking too quietly? Did I use words he didn’t understand? Was I interesting enough?Everything I could think of was becoming so jumbled up. I started to distance myself from the problem, which made it worse.
What I have learnt is that when I am talking to Joseph I tend to think that he can understand everything I am saying to him, I don’t consider that he may be too focussed on a hair coming across my face, or a person singing in the background, to actually hear the words coming from my mouth. Sometimes I need to make the language I use with him simpler, that isn’t to say I need to talk to him like a child, because he isn’t one, but I can watch my vocabulary and grammar. I need to give him more time to process information and hold eye contact with him when he is talking to me, so he knows I am listening. I have also tried using photo symbols with him to explain more complex ideas, which is working well.
I am a lone worker when I support Joseph. I do not have somebody else giving me pointers on how I can improve and what will work best for him. My Key has helped me to be my own mentor. Now when I work with Joseph I mentally tick off the facilitation skills to check that I am getting it right. I now know that I need to focus on my positioning (so he doesn’t feel squashed by my presence) my warmth (because sometimes he can say quite shocking things when he is anxious and I need to encourage him and be friendly) my communication (because even though he is very smart, sometimes photo symbols work best) and my eye contact (he reads peoples reactions through their eyes, it’s important for him to feel in control of this) My key has made me a better supporter of Joseph. It has helped me to understand that I have a responsibility to ensure that he is being met with meaningful interactions. I have a responsibility to make every interaction I have with him a great one, and if it isn’t great, then I now have the tools to improve it for myself.
One of the best things to come from My Key to Developing Facilitation Skills, is that it acts as a spring board for me to talk about my work. I have used it in lots of conversations with my colleagues in order to gather feedback, but also to help problem solve around what works and what doesn’t work for the people we support. I have noticed lots of little changes in Joseph since using My Key. We still talk about pasta and energy drinks, but because I have improved on some of my skills, he is starting to engage better with me, and the world around him.
Natalie Bianchi
Programme Coordinator
MacIntyre No Limits, Oxford