When Rowland died, all the people we support and staff were very upset. Rowland’s family asked the staff at Anvil Close to clear his bedroom of possessions and asked if any of the people he lived with would like a keepsake to remember him by.
I wanted to ensure we got this right for the people we support, especially for Tony and Doddy. A member of staff that provides one to one support for Tony and who has known Doddy for many years, and I asked both men if they would mind joining us in Rowland’s bedroom. Tony sat on the bed and Doddy stood as I explained to both men why we had asked them into the room. I knelt down so I could give eye contact to Tony but conscious I wanted to include Doddy too I looked up at him and checked he was okay. I explained that we were all very sad that Rowland had died and that I had been speaking with his family and they had asked if both men would like a keepsake from his room to remember him by. Now I must tell you a bit about Rowland’s bedroom, it is like an Aladdin’s cave of possessions. Over the years Rowland enjoyed collecting many, many items from books, ornaments, dvd’s, cds, pictures, photos and postcards, leaflets, flags, posters and teddy bears you name it, Rowland had it. He still had the large cardboard Oscar Trophy Bill Mumford gave him after the photo of MacIntyre’s 40th birthday celebration! So as you can imagine there were lots of items to choose from.
The two men looked around, a bit unsure of what to look at. I moved to support Doddy as my colleague supported Tony. Doddy was looking at a pile of books so I asked him if he was interested in a book. Doddy asked me what was there, so I knelt down and started lifting books off the pile for Doddy to look at, reading the titles out for him. Doddy asked what they were about. Some were fiction, which Doddy immediately said ‘no’ to but soon we came across a book about Daniel Craig and when I asked Doddy if he liked this one, his reply was ‘well what do you think?’ Silly me, Doddy is an avid film fan and shared an interest in James Bond with Rowland. Doddy took the book from me and with a huge grin on his face started looking at it. I was still looking at the books and spotted another title that I thought might interest Doddy, a book called ‘Movies’. I asked Doddy if he would like this one too, holding the book so Doddy could see and his reply was of course yes! I stood next to Doddy as he looked at the books and asked him how he was. Doddy talked about Rowland enjoying a good film and we talked about some of the ones he enjoyed. I put my arm on Doddy’s shoulder to reassure him and he looked at me to indicate he was happy with his choice and then he left the room, commenting as he left that Rowland would have enjoyed this as the TV in the lounge was showing one of Rowland’s favourite programmes.
Gwen supported Tony to have a look at some of Rowland’s DVD’s after initially choosing a pack of colouring pens that had initially been mine which I had lent to Rowland and that were now firmly a part of Rowland’s possessions! I said to Tony that of course he could have them but did he want something else too. Tony chose two DVD’s Rowland and Tony had recently been watching together and a CD they had been listening to in the weeks before Rowland had died. Tony commented that Rowland did like these films. Tony took these items into the lounge to show his Niece who was visiting shortly after.
I know it is difficult to come to terms with losing people we are close to and both men have spoken at different times about losing Rowland. Rowland was such a big character at Anvil Close, he was affectionately called ‘Captain’ by staff, he always knew everyone’s name and what was going on. He will be greatly missed by all of us.
Hannah Crampton
Head of Service
Anvil Close