On my first day, back in August 2011, I was working with a young man called Stuart. Stuart loves to talk about his shoes and his red bag. He asks people whether they like his things, and is so comfortable knowing that they will say “yes”. I watched Adrian and Stuart making a plan for the day, Stuart turned to Adrian and said “do you like my red bag” and instead of responding with the predictable response, Adrian said “I prefer my black bag”. To which Stuart laughed hard. What I really enjoyed about this interaction was the risk that had been taken, so often it is easier to do something expected, but what I saw that day was that by being creative with our responses, we can build trusting relationships that expand the comfortable boundaries that people often build around themselves, this in turn makes their experiences a little more colourful.
The staff at Risborough Road were preparing for Halloween. The house was scattered with sticky plastic skeletons and monster masks. Although James was interested in these things, he didn’t quite know how they worked. Blessing and James were sat in the lounge watching music videos. James was tapping his foot to the tunes. Without James seeing, Blessing pulled a bone shaped head band out from under her seat. James is known for his dislike of headbands, but instead of swiftly hiding it away, Blessing looked at James cheekily and put it on her head! It took a moment for him to adjust to this strange change, he reached out for it and started to touch it. Blessing leant forward in silence and let him explore. He then whipped it off her head and put it on his own. I learnt from this the importance of keeping things simple. Blessing could have so easily made a fuss over James taking the headband, but she just let him explore at his own pace. It is so important that we support people to put their own stamp on experiences.
On the last day of term we had a big party for the people we support. We put up a huge Marquee. When it came to handing out certificates, Jake didn’t want to come in. He sat outside by the tree. We called out people’s names and they came to the front to collect their certificate, everybody clapped. Hannah had remembered that Jake hates the noise of clapping, which is probably why he didn’t want to come inside. She told me to quietly ask everybody to wave their hands instead of clap, we called Jake’s name and everybody waved their hands. Jake walked through the centre of the Marquee in silence, he looked so relieved and said “ah that’s better isn’t it” . He collected his certificate and left the marquee. The thing that stands out for me about this is that Hannah found a way to include Jake in a respectful and creative way. She understood what he found difficult and instead of letting him sit the activity out, she supported him (and a room of 50 other people) to engage in a person centred way.
Rebekah and Farah had been visiting Kirsty for 3 months. They met her at a secure unit for 3 hours per week. During this time they hadn’t heard her speak at all, but that was ok, because they found other creative ways to talk to each other. Kirsty had told them that she wanted to design a rock band, so they spent most their sessions on this project. On the last day of term Rebekah arranged for Kirsty to come to college and display her rock band designs. This was a huge step for her, as she rarely feels comfortable in public places. We put her display in the centre of the college; she looked so pleased to see it. She then went into a quiet room with Rebekah and her mum. Kirsty had made all of the staff who work with Rebekah a cake. After about 15 minutes I saw Rebekah in the garden with Kirsty and her mum, they were all talking to each other. I couldn’t hear what was being said, or how much Kirsty was engaging. But what I could see is that she felt comfortable. I don’t know much about the work that was put into supporting Kirsty to feel ok talking, but what I do know is that designing a rock band wasn’t the main focus for Rebekah and Farah. It was simply the vehicle to support them to build trust, by taking away the complexities of speech, Kirsty was able to get to know the staff working with her. Sometimes we think that speech is the most important form of communication, when really we should let the people we support lead in whichever way they feel comfortable.
Over the past three years I have seen and heard of many Great Interactions. What has been so heart-warming is that every person I have met within MacIntyre, has their own set of stories to share. I am leaving Oxfordshire No Limits with a strong trust that each day, every one of the staff will facilitate great moments for the people they support. Thank you for letting me be a part of it.
Natalie Bianchi
Programme Coordinator
MacIntyre, No Limits