When I first met James we had quite a lengthy chat about his hobbies and interests and also about his dislikes and things that make him uncomfortable. James told me that he does not eat in front of other people and when at home he will take food upstairs as he can’t be around people that can see him eating. I clarified this with James’ parents and they have stated that they don’t see him eat and that he can’t bring himself to even eat Christmas dinner with the family.
I decided that even although James’s main aim is to find some form of employment, I would try and support him with his eating habits too. I started by taking James to a few fast food places that I know he likes. At this point James would ask if he could keep the food in the bag and eat when he got home. I agree to this so that he did not feel I was pressuring him to eat when out. This went on for about 2 months and then one day we went to a local sandwich shop. James chose a sandwich and asked the question whether he could take it home to eat. I once again agreed, but during the drive to our next activity James started eating his sandwich, which was a huge achievement, but I didn’t say anything as I didn’t want James to know that I had been working on this with him.
The real success of this story came when James and I went to a pub, where we go for a drink of coke every now and then and bearing in mind James struggles with social interaction, a pub can be quite a difficult place for James to be. We both sat at a table and I showed James a menu to see if he would be interested in having something to eat. To my surprise James chose a burger and chips. We waited for the food to arrive and then both started eating our meals. James ate all his food and stated how much he enjoyed it afterwards!
Since this success we have been back to the pub and eaten together again. We have also eaten sandwiches when out and about.
Looking back from the start... James has gone from completely avoiding eating in front of people to going to a pub and eating a meal with a staff member, in front of the general public... What a brilliant achievement for him!
Update...since writing this blog, I can now report that James is eating with staff 4 times a week – fantastic!
Daniel Lilley
Community Learning Facilitator
No Limits, East Midlands